An Atlantian Christmas
by RADyo
Summary: Presents, Carols, Santa. All the things we love. Ronon and Teyla will never view Earth the same way again. Just a series of Christmas one-shots. Merry Christmas
1. Chapter 1: Christmas Presents

**AN: I know, I should be working on my other story "The Meaning Of Family" but I couldn't help it. It's Christmas, and I've been watching this series. I had to do something. Just a few cute, little one shots of Ronon, Sheppard, Teyla and Christmas.**

**Christmas Presents**

Ronon frowned, watching Colonel Sheppard look at item after item. They stood in an Athosian tent on the mainland. Sheppard had insisted he needed to come out here on some errand. The ex-runner hadn't really payed too much attention. He simply wanted time off of Atlantis, no matter how short a time it may be.

"What are you doing?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Hmm? Oh, finding Elizabeth a Christmas present," the other man explained briefly.

"A what-mas present?"

"A Christmas present. It's an earth tradition. Towards the end of the year, you buy gifts for your close friends or people that are important to you and give it to them on December 25th. We call that day 'Christmas.' Ah, here we go," the man decided, picking up a picture. It was a painting of a waterfall. The water ran over rocks before falling to pool in a large lake at the bottom. The mist created a rainbow.

"Why do you call it Christmas?" Ronon asked, frowning in confusion.

"Tradition. Supposed to be a big day for a religion called Christianity. It's the day the day they celebrate their savior's birth."

"And you're part of Christianity?"

"Well, no. Not really."

"Then why do you participate?"

"It's tradition. You don't have to be a Christian to take part in Christmas. It's only a really spiritual thing for them. For everyone else it's a holiday. You can talk to Lieutenant Marks if you want to know more about Christianity. I'm not really an expert."

Ronon watched him as he finished up in the tent before moving on to another one. "So what do you do for this holiday?" he wondered, arms at his side and face as apathetic as always.

"Well, you decorate a tree, you know, with lights and ornaments and stuff. Some people decorate their houses and yards, trees, et cetra. And of course," he continued, completely serious, "You wrap presents and put them under the tree. You leave cookies out for Santa. Sing Christmas carols. Stuff like that."

"What's Santa?"

" 'What's Santa?' " he repeated, eye brows raised. "Okay Chewy, I've got a lot to tell you. Santa, is a fat man in a red suit who delivers toys to every child on Christmas Eve."

"A gat guy delivers toys to _every_ child in one night?" he asked doubtfully.

"Uhh… Yeah," Sheppard nodded slowly, "He delivers toys made by his elves."

"Elves?" That was true skepticism if the Colonel had ever heard it.

"How else would he get enough toys?" he argued reasonably.

"And you believe this?"

"Sure, I got toys from him as a kid. So has pretty much every other person. Ask anyone on Atlantis, they'll tell you."

"If he's already fat, why do you leave cookies out for him?" Ronon wondered, frowning.

"So that he stays that way. Climbing up and down chimneys takes a lot out of a guy."

"Why does he climb up and down chimneys?"

"That's how he delivers toys. He climbs down your chimney, fills your stalking, puts gifts under the tree, and climbs back out," he explained.

"If he's fat how does he fit in chimneys?"

"Through the magic of Christmas spirit," came the childish response.

" 'Magic'?" the ex-runner repeated, eyebrow raised, "You're telling me a fat guy uses magic to creep down your chimney and give you toys? And you encourage him with cookies?"

"Mrs. Claus would make him do it anyway, with or without cookies," the Colonel complained.

"Who?" came the confused reply.

"His wife, Mrs. Claus. Santa Claus and his wife, Mrs. Claus. You know, they live up in the North Pole." When he didn't get a response, he glanced over at his friend.

The man was staring at him with a blank look on his face.

"Well, I guess you don't know," he agreed with the unspoken statement. "Well, that's the last thing I need. Let's get back to the jumper."

As they turned to leave, the glint of light on metal caught the colonel's attention. He stopped, gently running his hand over the fine blade. It was what looked to be a steel blade with a black leather grip.

"Now that, is a cool knife," he stated, picking it up and weighing it in his hand.

"You gonna get it?" Ronon wondered.

"Naw, just wanted to stop and look. Let's go."

The two men left the tent and headed back towards their ship. while Sheppard walked on, Ronon stopped at the entrance.

"I got something I need t' take care of," he said gruffly, "Be back in a minute." With that, he turned and walked off. The Colonel watched him leave for a moment, before storing his items and sitting down in the driver's seat to wait.

He didn't have to wait long. Ronon returned a few moments later.

"What'd you do?" Sheppard wondered.

"Nothing much," he answered. He didn't seem to have anything on him. Didn't look like he'd gotten anything. The Colonel shrugged as the jumper lifted off the ground and headed back towards Atlantis. He probably went to talk to someone or something.

They had just gotten back to Atlantis and were walking down the hallway when they bumped into Major Lorne.

"Sir, Ronon," he greeted, "You two coming to the Christmas party tonight?"

"Yeah, can't wait," Sheppard agreed.

"Great, see you there." He gave a brief salute before continuing down the hall.

"Well, I have presents to wrap, so I guess I'll catch you later," the Colonel decided, giving a slight wave as he turned and walked off.

"Later," Ronon replied..

"So, anything interesting happen to you Carson?" Elizabeth Weir asked, sipping on some eggnog.

"Not particularly. You?" the doctor, Carson Becket, wondered.

"Yeah, actually. Something odd did happen," she admitted.

"Aye? What was it?"

"Ronon came up to me and asked me to explain how to wrap a present to him."

"Ronon?" he repeated, one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, Ronon. He said something about needing to do it tonight. Probably why he got here late."

"Who do you think it's for?" he wondered.

"The present? Sheppard or Teyla probably," she guessed.

"Wonder what he got 'em," Carson couldn't help but state.

"Me too."

John yawned as he sat up in his bed, stretching. He was still tired from the late night the previous night. He had gone to the party, like he said he would, but then he had delivered wrapped gifts to his team, Weir, Becket and a few others.

He stood and did his morning routine. He was heading out the door to go running with Ronon when he saw the small package just outside his door. It was sloppily wrapped, like the person had no experience.

_Or very little time,_ he mused. He picked it up, shaking it slightly. He heard the sounds of something shifting in a card board box. He sat down on his bed, deciding Ronon could wait.

He checked the tag on the side. It had a message written in messy handwriting.

_For: Sheppard_

_From: Ronon_

Sheppard couldn't help but grin as he pulled open the package. Staring at what lay at the bottom of the card board box, he couldn't help but laugh. A steel blade with a black leather grip.

It was the knife from the mainland.

**AN: Now I feel complete. I have written a SGA fanfic. Oh, the wonderfulness of it all! So yeah, review and tell me I did horribly (And how to improve) or that I did great. So yeah, MERRY CHRISTMAS! (And a happy new year!)**

**-RADyo**


	2. Chapter 2: Santa Is Coming To Town

**AN: This one is shorter, by a lot, than the last one. I just couldn't help but think of this. My family has the same conversation every Christmas! It's tons of fun to joke about it whenever we hear "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" on the radio.**

**Santa Claus**

_He sees you when you're sleeping_

_He knows when you're awake_

_He knows if you've been bad or good_

_So be good for goodness sake_

_Oh you better watch out, you better not cry_

_You better not pout, I'm tellin' you why_

_Santa Claus is comin' to town._

Ronon exchanged a glance with Teyla, who had the same look on her face he was sure was on his. They couldn't help but frown. Sheppard and McKay were playing Christmas Carols, trying to give them the 'Christmas Experience', as they put it.

"And you like this holiday?" Ronon asked.

Rodney grinned. "Oh, it's one of our favorite on earth," he promised.

"This Santa is a fat guy in a red suit who gives kids presents, right?"

"That's him," the scientist agreed with a smirk on his face.

"And you sing songs about him?" Teyla couldn't help but ask.

"We call them carols, but yeah," Sheppard agreed.

"And you encourage this?" Ronon added.

"Of course."

"He doesn't creep out any of your children?" she wondered.

"No, they love him. Write him letters, asking him for gifts and stuff."

"Kids'll stand in line for hours just to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what they want for Christmas," Sheppard added.

"But didn't the song say 'He sees you when you're sleeping'?"

"Yeah," they agreed.

"Sounds more like a stalker to me," Ronon grunted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Please, that's…" Rodney froze, a spoon sticking out of his mouth. A half-eaten jell-o cup sat in his hand. "Oh my gosh… That's so true. He is a stalker. Oh gosh! Santa's a stalker!"

Sheppard raised his eyebrow. "You just thought of that?" he wondered.

"Well, yeah. Before I didn't stop to think about it."

"Everyone knows he's like the biggest stalker," the Colonel continued, "He was the first professional stalker."

"And yet you encourage such behavior?" Teyla wondered.

"He gives free gifts," the man reasoned, "Why not?"

"That's a dumb reason," Rodney argued, "That's like going with a stranger because they offered you candy."

"Hey, I accepted plenty of candy from strangers as a kid. It still tasted fine, just as good as stuff my parents gave me!"

McKay shook his head, a hand on his forehead. "He's hopeless. Absolutely hopeless."

"John, isn't it unwise to accept things from strangers?" Teyla reasoned.

"Hey, Ronon accepted all kinds of help from strangers when he first became a runner," he argued.

"Yeah, and the Wraith came and destroyed them because of it," the man added.

"Well, nothing like that happened to me."

"We also don't have hand-vampires on earth," McKay added, taking another bite of Jell-o.

"You're just jealous that I got candy and you didn't," Sheppard decided, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's ridiculous," Rodney complained.

"I knew it!" the Colonel cheered at the look on his team mate's face. Then, he swiped a bite from the Jell-o cup and walked off before McKay began to yell at him.

He vaguely heard the complaints start as the door closed. He smirked smugly as he walked off.

**AN: Now I feel complete. I have written a SGA fanfic. Oh, the wonderfulness of it all! So yeah, review and tell me I did horribly (And how to improve) or that I did great. So yeah, MERRY CHRISTMAS! (And a happy new year!)**

**-RADyo**


End file.
